Damn The Red Pill
by Karla3
Summary: Matrix/FF8!! What wacky things will accur when Squall is Neo and the FF8 gang is wheeled into the world of the Matrix? Expect carziness! Matrix parody!
1. Knock Knock Squall

Damn the Red Pill

Disclaimer: I do not own final fantasy 8 or any of its characters. Matrix is the coolest movie and I don't own it. It belongs to the people that made it…I don't know who they are but it's not me!!!!! I DON'T OWN THE MATRIX!!! Ahem…

Chapter 1

Knock, Knock Squall

I'm going to tell you my story. This is what happened to me when I finally woke up. When I finally believed. In what you ask? The Matrix, that's what.

What is the Matrix? I cant tell you, your going to have to see for yourself, what I'm about to show, you might not be ready for…too bad. 

It all started when I was listening to music on my headphones; I fell asleep doing a search on my computer. I was searching for information on bunnies. Cute little things, I love them. 

I woke up, not willingly to look at a blank computer screen. Three small green words typed themselves across the screen.

_Wake up Squall._

"What the hell?" I took my headphones off and sat up, looking intensely at the screen.

_The Matrix has you…_

I pressed ctrl X…nothing. 

_Follow the pink flamingo._

" Follow the pink flamingo…" I whispered.

I tried pressing escape, but still nothing.

Finally, the last message…

_Knock Knock Squall_

My courage was thrown into the rubbish basket when I heard two loud thumps at my door. I think I packed my underwear…you know.

" Who…who is it?" I yelled

"Its Irvine"

I breathed a sigh of relief and walked over to the door. Opening it just a crack. It was Irvine all right. I was glad to see him. He smiled, still chewing his bubblegum. Selphie hung off him like usual. Surprisingly because she was almost half his height.

"Your two hours late"

" I know" he argued, "Its her fault"

" You got the money?"

He sighed and pulled a handful of green notes out of his jacket pocket. 

"2 Grand"

I walked over to my cupboard and pulled out a small, round doughnut. 

" You're my savior man!" He cried, " Don't know how I'm gonna thank ya you know?" 

"Yeah…do you ever get that feeling when…you don't know whether your still dreaming or your awake?"

"No…"

I frowned and looked at Selphie. She smiled seductively and grabbed hold of Irvine. That's when I saw, on her shoulder, a tattoo…of a pink flamingo…

Authors Note: ha! My next fic! I'll have the next chapter up really soon. Please leave a review and tell me what you thought! Please please please please please!!!!!!


	2. Screech Screech Screech

Damn the Red Pill 

Chapter 2

Screech Screech Screech

A/N Thanx everyone for reviewing! And as an answer to your Q's, yes I did watch the Matrix on replay! Lol hahahaha. This chapter I promise will have a good twist on it 2.

It was then that I realized wherever they were going, I would go. So I followed Selphie and Irvine to the club. Loud music and annoying lights galore. I stood alone in the corner of the dance club. Watching the excitement…on my own…all by myself…nobody with me at all…ok so I guess you get the picture.

I was in the right mind to just get up and leave…when this really gorgeous girl came up to me and might I say she had way too much gel in her hair.

" Hello Squall"

"Hi Rinoa"

" Squall your not supposed to call me that, remember? Just go by my code name ok? 

T-R-I-….how do you spell it?"

"T-R-I-N-I-T-Y"

"Oh thanks. Anyway…I know why you're here Squall…"

" Yeah so do I…big deal"

She crossed her arms and looked at me, pouting. I sighed and gave in.

" Ok," I said, " Fine I'll be serious…"

She leaned closer to me, whispering.

" I know how every night you wake up wondering why you're here Squall…I know your looking for him, because I was once looking for him too. But I found him…haha! I found him and you didn't! Haha!"

She laughed for a long period of time then stopped and continued with her boring speech.

" He told me I wasn't really looking for him…I was looking for an answer…it's the question Squall. It's the question that drives us…"

" What!?" I yelled, " What did you say? I couldn't hear you. This music is too loud! What!"

She mumbled something unprintable and walked off.

" Well fine then miss…um…walker-offer"

For some unexplainable reason I woke up in my bed with the alarm blaring in my ear. I looked across from at my little bunny alarm clock. " Wake up! Wake up! The sun is out and its time to play!" I could never get used to that alarm. So cute!

Anyway, I fell back to sleep and didn't actually get up until lunchtime. In which I made myself a burrito and ceaser salad with extra ceaser sauce and croutons…not that you needed to know…

Oh yeah, then I went work.

I work for a nature company. We specialize in looking after all the cute little animals like bunnies that get left on the side of the road starving, or hurt from a bushfire or neglect, or from people roofs…or form our front doorstep, which is the most common too.

I went up to the 23rd floor and grabbed a cup of coffee for my boss. Stepping back on the elevator I rode it up to the 435th floor…only kidding, the 25th floor. My boss was sitting at his desk with his hands in head.

" Hi sir, I brought you your coffee"

He looked up at me with that ' you-are-in-really-big-trouble-because-you-didn't-bring-me-my-coffee-in-time-expression. I gave him a 'I'm-really-sorry-sir-I-didn't-get-up-in-time-this-morning' expression back.

He grumbled and took a sip of his coffee. Which he took the liberty in spitting back out…all over my shirt and pants. Stains, damnit!

" Its cold…" He whispered.

" Sorry sir…I um…"

" No excuses!", He yelled, " Mr. Leonheart…you think you are different from every one else. That you are special"

Some window wipers were at the window. 

Screech…screech…screech… 

" That somehow the rules do not apply to you" He continued. Screech…screech…screech… 

Oh please someone shut those wipers up! 

" Well Mr. Leonheart if you continue to make coffee like this"

Screech…screech…screech 

I couldn't take it any more. The window wipers had taken me down to my last straw… 

" AAAAAHHHH!" I screamed. With a burst of fury I ran full speed into the large glass window ( that the window wipers were busily cleaning) and slammed into it, baring my teeth crazily. The window wobbled slightly and threatened to break.

You see, from the immense shock of having a man throw himself at a window, which you happen to be happily cleaning, can cause you to almost have a heart attack. The window wiper in my view got a shock very like this and screamed at the top of his lungs, falling backwards. This movement caused the structure he was standing on the wobble slightly and let the other men run around in a frantic hurry to get off. Yet this movement also cause the structure to wobble even more, and eventually, cause it to topple over like a ladder with one leg chopped off at the base. As the windowipers flew backwards from the window and into the street below, we heard a series of…*CLANG*…*SMASH*…*HONK*…*BANG* and a lot of cursing from the citizens below.

"As I was saying" He continued, " If you decide to make my coffee as disgusting as this, which mind you, has the potential to enter an instant coffee contest, then consider yourself jobless"

I grumbled and made my way back to my tiny box-like office on the 15th floor. I began to sort out the papers on the African man eating fly from Asia when the mailman came to my 'office'.

" Excuse me I have a package for you, could you sign here?"

I happily signed and grabbed my package. Tearing off the wrapping I revealed a pink, fluffy cow design mobile phone. I gently placed it down on my desk…but then…it rang!

It was a really catchy tune. You know. The theme from the Simpson's.

" H-Hello?"

" Hello Squall…do you know who this is?"

" No…I only just got this, say, how did you get the number?"

" Ugh, just don't worry about that, My name is Morphius…"

I started hysterically laughing.

" Morphius? Who the heck would have a name like THAT?! Hahaha!"

"  Just pay attention!…I've been looking for you Squall. Your pretty sneaky you know that?…anyway…I don't know if you want to hear what I'm going to let you listen to but unfortunately we have run out of time…ready"

I heard something shuffle in the background…and then…the most awful sound I could ever have put to my ears. I would be mentally tormented for the rest of my life.

" Oops I did it again, I played with your heat, got lost in the game!"

" No!" I screamed.

" Its ok, I've turned it off…now look at the elevator"

I looked up slowly and saw three men dressed in black suits. They spoke to the cute lady at reception then turned and saw me. I waved at them and smiled. 

" Don't do that!" Morphius yelled.

" Oops sorry"

I bent back down, out of their view.

" Listen carefully Squall, when I say so, run to the cuticle on your left…go now!"

I ran over to my left. Just in time…the 'guys in suits' walked into my 'office' and looked around suspiciously when they saw I wasn't there. Quite stupid actually because they didn't bother having a quick look in the cuticle I was in. 

" Go to the office at the end of hall…now"

I followed his instructions, running past the guy that was photocopying his face in the photocopier and into the office. I locked the door before listening to the mobile again.

" Ok Squall, now jump out that window and hopefully a car will cushion your fall"

" What?!"

" Well I can't think of anything else, don't always rely on me!"

"Morphius!"

" Oh well too bad!"

He hung up. Damn him! I definitely wasn't going to jump out of the window…in case you didn't already know…

A/N : Ok the britney spears song bit, was an idea from a friend of mine! Don't ask! Well I hope this was a bit better and please keep up the great reviews it would really help if I knew what everyone thought of this. Thanks again! Oh and the Simpson's doesn't belong to me.


	3. Red Pill Blue Pill Yummy!

Damn the Red Pill chapter 3

Blue pill, Red pill…yummy!

The small confinement wasn't much to be enjoyable about. I sat alone and worried at the desk. There was nothing on the table and only one door to my right, which opened. Three men, all dressed in black, came walking over. Two stood either side of me, while the third, sat down in front of me. He was carrying a folder, which he took the liberty in slowly opening as slowly as he could.

" As you can see Mr. Leonheart…we've kept a close eye on you…watching your every move…muahahah!" When he laughed evilly he kinda look extremely strange rather than intimidating and out his pinki finger up to his mouth, moving back and forth as he laughed. He immediately stopped and turned serious again.

" Hey man, you got that from Austin Powers…dude you cant do that its copyright" I told him.

He shrugged and continued.

" You have been living 395 lives Mr. Leonheart…in one life you are a cold, heartless SeeD, trained to obey and kill and never socialize. You are seen as a lone wolf. In another life you are a happy bubbly person that only answer to anything with the word 'booyaka' in it. In another life you are a happy go lucky teenager dating a different girl every week and loosing millions at a lottery. In another life you…"

" Ok! I get the point!" I groaned, " Who are you guys anyway?"

" We…are…the…M.I.B"

" No your not…I've seen that movie…"

"Oh…well no I'm just kidding. Who we are does not concern you. I would like to make you a deal. You can help us or be chopped into three pieces and thrown over the bridge near Dawson Street"

" First option I think…" I whispered.

" Good. You will assist us in bringing down a known terrorist. He calls himself Morphius. He contacted you before"

That name…it gave me the giggles again. Morphius, who in their right minds would name themselves _Morphius! _

"Hahahaha…yeah…hahah..i remember…"

" Well if you don't help us…we will have to use…other methods…"

I snorted. " You don't really sound that intimidating you know"

He sighed and did a little hand signal to the other two either side of me. They stood closer to me and grabbed me by the shoulders slamming me down onto the desk, facing up. 

" Help! Let go!"

But I watched in horror as the evil smile crept across his face, the 'main dude' laughed in his evil way. My mouth began…to meld together. Like paste that's been spread too thickly on cardboard and is being pried apart. The gooey pasty skin covered my mouth, gluing it together…silencing me.

They got out a small metal container, its contents small tube-like objects. He held one up for me to see.

" You going to help us Mr. Leonheart" He said, " Whether you like it or not…"

It came alive. Like a squid on a high, it wriggled itself over my belly, its tiny tube tentacle finding my belly button. It crawled _inside _me, squirming and wriggling.

And I woke up…

That was the second time that had happened to me…waking up in bed with no knowledge of going to bed. 

I quickly checked my belly…safe…my mouth…still there. Phew.

The phone rang.

I answered it, hesitantly. " Hello?"

" 7 days.." It croaked, " You have 7 days…"

I Sighed. " I've seen that movie…you cant do that"

" Aw damn…its me Morphius"

" Yeah I figured…" I said.

" Listen, they got to you but I know what they did. Meet at the Dawson's Bridge tonight"

He hung up. Damnit. I was going out tonight…Morphius…pizza…Morphius…pizza…Morphius…pizza…oh well I suppose Morphius did sound sort of serious. So I dressed and ran to the Dawson's Bridge. Even though it was pissing down with rain.

When I was fully soaked through a black car made its way over. It stopped next to me. The door opened and I saw Rinoa.

" Get in"

" You could at least say please…"

"…please"

I got in and looked at the 'happy' bunch of people around me. Quistis…some guy who obviously didn't like me and…Rinoa was there too of course…

" Rinoa, are you involved in this _Morphius _thing as well?"

" I told you…" She whispered, " My name is Trinity"

" Oh yeah…"

" yes I am. Morphius will explain everything in time, but for now…take off your shirt"

I grinned. " Rinoa…not now" I motioned to Quistis and 'that guy'. " Not here, they're watching…"

She sighed. " No Squall not 'that'. We need to see if you're bugged"

" Oh…"

I gracefully took of shirt and swung it around my head in a fluid motion.  Licking my lips and rubbing my belly. Oh very seductive I bet.

Unfortunately the only reaction I got was a great big dirty machine plopped down on me.

" Stay still…or else"

I pocked my tongue out and watched.

Rinoa was watching a little screen. Obviously she thought she could see into my stomach. She looked a little aggravated and tried desperately to stop me moving and yelling " That tickles! That tickles!"

"Arrgghhh"

"What?"

" That feels weird.." I complained.

"Duh.."

Something was ripped out of stomach and thrown into a glass jar. Rinoa threw it out the window and took the machine off me.

" That thing was real!"

"Yeah…I don't know what its for though…Morphius wouldn't tell me…"

She seemed a little hurt about this and I gave her quick cuddle. Whispering " Its ok…Its ok, I'll kick him for you"

The car stopped at on old rundown hotel. Rinoa led me inside.

" Just one piece of information…" She said

"What?"

" Be honest. He knows…all" She kinda put on this freaky voice and backed away into a corner. Scary…

When I walked in, a man in black leather was standing at the window. _Morphius._

He turned around. " Welcome"

I sighed and put my hands on my hips. " Zell…what are doing here…please don't tell me your Morphius?"

" Shhhh, Morphius is my code name you know? Just call me that"

"Ugh…"

" Ok…sit down. Now I bet you want to know what the Matrix is…?"

" No…"

He seemed a little bit angry by this and sat…quietly…waiting for me to apologize. Which I didn't. I didn't want to. It was just Zell for crying out loud!

" Well ill tell you anyway" He said, " The Matrix is all around you…when you look out the window. When you go to work…when you pay your taxes. It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to hide you from the truth"

" Dude," I said, " That sounds like a load of bollix to me"

He frowned and got a metal container out of his jacket.

" The truth is Squall…we are all donkey's. What you think you believe…is a lie. You…are…a…donkey"

" A donkey? Right…now I really believe you" Ok 'that' was sarcasm.

" I'm not lying Squall, You are a donkey"

" Can we talk about this 'donkey' concept later please?"

He nodded and opened the little metal container. He put the contents into his hands and leant forward. He opened his first hand to reveal a blue pill.

" You take the blue pill and wake up and pretend nothing has happened, you can wake and believe whatever you want to believe…"

He opened his other hand to reveal a red pill.

" If you take the red pill I'll show you just how deep the donkey hole goes"

I was about to take the blue pill.

" The red pill tastes the best…" He said.

I shrugged and took the red pill. I drank it down with a glass of water and laid back.

" Well, lets see this donkey hole then aye?"

A/N: Too tired. Can't say much. Austin Powers…M.I.B and The Ring don't belong to me. Yawn. Please please review. 


	4. Is This stuff Edible?

Damn the Red Pill 

Chapter 4 

Is This Stuff Edible?

Zell…I mean…Morphius lead me away into a separate room. There were other people there as well. Quistis, Seifer and Irvine. I smiled brightly and waved to them. " Hey guys!" Rinoa stood up and led me to a dusty looking chair. " You did this too?" I asked.

" I sure did" She replied. Once they had put all the wires on me I had a good look around. Quistis put a phone down and Seifer looked into a telescope thing. Irvine on the other hand was sitting at a computer. Morphius just…stood there. 

" The pill you took, was from a Harry Potter every flavor jelly beans packet. They're quite nice actually an cheap too" Morphius informed me. " What does that mean?" I asked.

Irvine was quick to answer for me, " It means buckle your seat belt Dorothy cos Cansas is going bye bye" 

" That is such a cliché…"

He grinned at me and put some goggles on. I ignored him and looked at a mirror next to me. It was broken. I felt like saying,  ' hey guys you're mirror's broken, hahah!' but I held back. I was saved the voice box projection because the mirror fixed itself. I did a pretty stupid thing and touched it.

" Have you ever had a dream Squall, that-"

" Yeah I have dreams everyone has dreams what's the big deal?"

" Please let me finish…that you were so certain it was real. What if you woke up and couldn't tell the difference between the real world and the dream world?"

That was an easy one. " I just pinch myself, easy" I answered. Morphius sighed and sat back down. When I touched the mirror it wobbled like water and had decided to stick to my finger. Like a silver paste. 

" Yuck!" I yelled. I flicked my hand around and the silver paste flicked all around the room. The rest of the group took cover from the flying goo but Morphius however coped a big splat on the face. 

" Aiiiieeeee! Get it off! Get it off!" The silver spread up his face and almost in his mouth. But I didn't get to see the rest because I blacked out. 

The next thing I knew…I was sitting inside a big bath like structure. Covered in red slimy, goo. I poked my way out and sat up. It isn't very nice to wake up with giant metal rod sticking in your mouth covered in slimy goo. So grabbed the rod with both hands and slid it out of mouth. Upon doing so, I received a big gulp of goo in my mouth…and it didn't taste too bad either. I just hoped it was edible.

I felt like I was in one of those science fiction movies. Because everything looked so…science fictiony…if you know what I mean. Plugs and pipes sticking out of my arms and back…and everywhere else, sitting in a tub of pink and tasty goo, surrounded by people sitting in tubs still asleep.  It was just a little bit out of the ordinary…What's more a machine flew up to me. Like a giant flying spider that reminded me of that stand in they used on the nursery rhymes channel for the spider that scared miss muffet.

It examined me for a while and then rudely, undid all of plugs. Now you should know that I am in fact a good swimmer. Garden rule number 234: All SeeD's must have a full understanding of swimming and rescue in the water…or something like that anyway. So yes, I can swim, but in this instant I couldn't. I just fell back into the tasty goo and down a tunnel. It was the most enjoyable tunnel ride I had ever been on, despite the fact that I was half naked…3 quarters naked. The slide went on for about five minutes, which is more than any old theme park can offer, until I fell out into a pool of water. 

While I frantically splashed around trying to stay alive, the people above took their sweet time in rescuing me. They finally did when giant claw picked me up, taking me to the surface. It was a very unpleasant ride because on several occasions it poked me in the but. 

A/N: woo-hoo! Thankyou to everyone who reviewed and patiently waited for this chapter. Not a bad chapter if I say so myself. But what do you think? Review and tell me what you thought! The more reviews the better * hint hint *

I've also updated my other fics too, Run,  My Story,  The Way Life Mocks Me


	5. Welcome to ZELLRULESTHEWORLD

Damn the Red Pill Chapter 5 

Welcome to ZELLRULESTHEWORLD 

* Warning * One swear word included in this chapter…I'm sure the warning isn't necessary but hey…it could be one day, so yeah, swearing alert. 

They wrapped my shivering body up in a blanket. I felt so close to passing out, but Zell…Morphius…still had to have his 'say'.

" Welcome…to the real world. It's not much but…its home"

Then, thank heaven, I passed out.

When I woke up all I could feel was pain. Like someone had poked a thousand needles into me, all over my body. But hey, I was pretty accurate too. My tired eyelids opened and I saw Morphius and Rinoa hovering over me.

" We've done it Trinity…we've found him"

" What do you mean 'we' found him? Get it right, 'I' found him" 

I decided to make myself known. " Am I dead?" They both looked at me, trying to stay as serious as possible…which wasn't very serious.

" Yes…hahahaha…no just kidding…"

 When I fell back to sleep again I woke up to see Morphius and…Nida…standing over me. But the strangest thing was the thousands of needles all poked into me all over my body. These instances where I kept getting everything right were getting way to frequent and way too freaky.

" What are doing to me? I thought you said we're all donkeys, not porcupines"

Nida frowned and looked over to Morphius with that…look.

" Where helping you to grow back your muscles"

" Why?"

" Because you've never used them before…"

" Yes I have…"

" No you haven't"

" Yes I have!"

" Haven't!"

" I have so!"

" No way!"

" I have!"

" You haven't!"

" I haven't!"

" You have!…oops…"

" Ha! Got ya! See I have used them so there!"

Morphius groaned, rubbing his hand over his forehead. He grabbed an injection over from the desk and injected me with it. Within a few moments I was off again, completely blacked out. Geez thanks a lot Morphius. He sure can't take a joke.

When I woke I was pretty shocked and threw myself forward out of bed. Unfortunately the ceiling in my room was extremely short and I smacked my head on the roof.

* SMACK * " Ooff…ow…"

It was then that I also realized I had a plug in me. It was…you know…up my but. Like an anal probe or something. Hey come on it was pretty embarrassing. 

Once the anal probe was gone I felt the back of my head. Something was there, I just knew it, like a hidden instinct. I was so close to touching it, to finding out if my assumption was correct. My fingers crossed a hard metal surface on the back of my head. I was about to explore it further when….

 * CREAK * The door opened.

 Ok so I was completely scared out of my pretty cool looking boots.

" AAAHH!"

" Whoa sorry man didn't mean to scare an all"

" HOLY SHIT ZELL! HAVENT YOU EVER HEARD OF KNOCKING!"

" Hey hey! I said I'm sorry…and my name here us Morphius ok?"

" Yeah yeah whatever…" 

I felt pretty uneasy, looking around at my 'bedroom'. It was pretty poor accommodation. No private bathroom. No complimentary towel. No little soaps or shampoos. No instant coffee or Tea bags. Very, very poor.

" Hey Ze- Morphius, where the hell am I? And please, please don't tell me I'm at your secret club under the elevator level of garden?"

Zell seemed a little shell-shocked. " Damnit…you know about that??? How the hell…?? Er…never mind. No your not there. You're on my ship…in the real world. Remember? Like don't you even remember me tellin you all dat stuff about the real world?"

" Ok……………….no"

He sighed. " Its not a matter of where Squall…it's a matter of 'when'. You think it's the year 2065, when in fact it's closer to 2066"

" But that's only a year difference…"

" A year is long time you know…we don't know exactly what month it is…because Seifer lost the calendar…"

"…"

" Ok well lets get you acquainted with the team"

We climbed up a ladder next to my room and I got a _wonderful _view of Zell's but…I'm saying this in a sense that I was scarred for life and not, I repeat, not in a sense that I enjoyed seeing Zell's but hovering above me. Just thought I should stress that point.

He came to the main deck. " This is my ship, the ZELLRULESTHEWORLD"

This guy cant be serious… 

" I should have guessed…" I whispered under my breath. There was a sign next to me, bright as daylight with the inscriptions, ZELLRULESTHEWORLD. I was actually surprised it didn't say, MORPHIUSRULESTHEWORLD…

" You know everyone here so I'll just briefly introduce everyone…Rinoa, aka Trinity"

Rinoa was down in the corner, _pretending,_ to do someone welding. At the mention of her name, she seductively stood up, wisking the mask off her head…her _seductiveness _ failed and the helmet ended up caught on a lose strand of hair. She yelped as the helmet pulled on the hair and in turned she jabbed it upwards to pull it out, only causing herself more harm. She held the helmet above her head yelling incoherently and jumping about on the spot. 

I eagerly took my eyes from the scene and paid attention to Zell's introductions. " This is Quistis, Seifer, Irvine, Nida, Raijin…and the really big one behind you is Frank.

"…Frank?"

" Oh yeah, he's a buddy of mine, you don't know him. Say hi Frank"

" …"

Zell beamed. " He's a great guy…anyway this is where we log into the internet with a stolen account, with unlimited downloads, free hours for 2 months 'and'….wait for it…a free msn browsing system!"

Everyone's faces lit up when Zell finished his…wonderful…examination…speech…?

" Gee guys…that's great…goodbye!"

I turned around but unfortunately Zell grabbed me by the arm. " Oh but wait, there's more!"

Oh please, please, I know I have done a lot of wrong things…but…I saved the world from a crazy and mentally deranged sorceress…please help me! Oh great one!

My pleads were unanswered. Zell lead me to the main…of the main area. It was pretty complex…and even I was impressed for a split second…that's right, _a split second, _because I saw…the seats. Dirty, torn, scruffy…ok I'm not a guy who desires fashion…but I do have taste. 

" This is where we get into the Matrix…nothing interesting"

Everyone shrugged and continued their duties.

" You wanted to know what the Matrix is Squall?"

" no…"

" Come over here, and I'll show you…."

Oh boy… 

A/N: aha! I'm a genius!! Mauahahahaha……ok sorry. Well what do think? The character frank was an idea from my friend Sari. I just thought it would be fun to have all FF8 characters and then…Frank. Hehehe. Well I don't know about you but every time I watch the Matrix this Fic is gonna be planted in my head and people will wonder why I'm laughing at the serious bits! Oh yeah and MSN doesn't belong to me. 

Please review! The more feedback the better! * hint hint *


	6. Nueral Active Simulator Thing

Damn the Red Pill 

Chapter 6: So now I'm a Battery?

I have been through a lot of strange experiences in my lifetime. But this was by far the strangest. You don't think so? Well try having a large metal rod shoved into the back of your head. Yeah that's right. Shoved right into the back. Ouch…

Sitting down on the uncomfortable seat. I started to get a little worried. Morphius was in the seat next to me. Smiling.

" Hey Squall, don't worry man, its fun!"

Joy… 

Rinoa picked the rod up. " Are you ready?" She asked.

" No!" I yelled. Oh well. She probably has hearing problems because she slid the thing right up into my head. You know, through the metal hole at the back.

" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

When I finished screaming my lungs out. I was no longer in the main deck…I was in a white nothing. 

" Morphius…where are we?"

He grinned. " This is the loading program"

" Loading program?" It was just a white nothing. Honest! I wasn't even standing on anything…but I sure wasn't floating.

" So…are you going to tell me what a loading program is…or are playing Simon says?" I  asked.

He rolled his eyes. " Squall…Simon says is when you do what ever the other person says only if they say 'Simon says!' first…its not a guessing game!" He laughed a little and crossed his arms.

"……"

" Ahem…anyway. The loading program is one of our most useful programs. You can basically load anything from cashew nuts to almonds. It great"

" Right"

" Look at what you're wearing. Your no longer wearing the really gay outfits you wear back on the ship, what you're wearing now is what we call ' self residual image'"

So I looked at myself…and couldn't help but notice something was wrong. I had no idea my 'self residual image' was wearing bunny slippers and a pink leotard…

 " Zell…"

He chuckled then gained his composure and coughed. " Sorry about that. Quistis, change him back now"

I changed into 'normal' clothes. Black shirt…blah blah. You know. 

" Sit down"

Morphius motioned to a pair of red seats in front of a TV.

" Whoa! Where'd they come from?"

" I loaded them silly"

" I didn't here anything…"

" Its silent ok! Now just sit down and watch"

Rolling my eyes I sat down and looked at the TV. He picked up a remote, (that just so happened to come from thin air) and turned it on. It was an extremely old TV…doesn't he believe in new technology?

The screen burst to life and as he was about to explain his boring speech… when a fly buzzed past. 

" Uh…Morphius…what's the point in loading a fly?"

He looked a bit dumbstruck for minute…but then her noticed the fly. 

" Oh…no. I didn't load that!" He yelled out to Quistis through his mobile. " Quistis! It's a fly! Quick!!!" I frowned. It's just a fly for heavens sake! The fly grew bigger and bigger until…it disappeared. 

" What the hell just happened here?" I asked. 

Zell sat down, he looked a little shaken. "It was a glitch"

" Right" So much commotion over a fly…I sure as hell wasn't going to get used to this place. I looked back at the TV screen. " Is all this real?"

" What is real? How do you define real? Is it what you can see, smell, touch and taste…then real is just…" He paused, looking a little lost. From inside his jacket he pulled out a piece of paper. He quickly read it over then resumed his speech, " Then real is just electrical signal interpreted by your brain"

" Yeah okay whatever…what was with the bit of paper?"

" Oh it just helps me sometimes. You know it's kinda hard to explain this crap to everyone all the time"

" Oh I see"

He turned on the TV. It showed Deling city. The huge skyscrapers and buildings. Al the café's lined up neatly on the 6th avenue boardwalk. 

" This is the world as you know it. The world as it existed in the end of the…something…century. This world is nothing but a neural active simulation that we call…The Matrix…You've been living in an ice-cream factory Squall"

" No I haven't…I live in an old apartment"

He took the piece of paper out again. " Oh yeah…that was Seifer"

" Hey, why couldn't you have just told me, 'The Matrix is a neural active simulator' in the first place?"

" I have no idea"

We sat in silence for a while.

" This is the world now…" He clicked the channel thingy and I was met with one of the most awful sights in my entire history of awful sights…

Scribbles: Aha! I'm back from the dead. Sorry this chapter was put on 'dead hold' for a veeery long time. For all of you have read and are going to review…bless you! Thankyou soooo much! 

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**_Chapter seven will be up next week…_**


	7. The Real World

Damn The Red Pill

**__**

**_Chapter 7:_**

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The Real World 

" Oops I did it again! I played with your heart, got lost in the game. Oh baby, baby! Oops…you think I'm love. That I'm sent from above…I'm not that innocent"

My mind screamed with fury. My eyes burned. Just to hear that awful song was enough…but to actually see the damn video clip?! I was hysterical. With my hands over my ears and my eyes closed, I screamed over at Morphius.

" Turn it off! Please! Just turn it off!!"

" I'm trying!"

" WELL TRY HARDER!!!"

Finally he switched the channel. I breathed a sigh of relief and laid back down, brushing a bead of sweat from my fore head. 

" Phew…"

" Welcome to the real world"

I wasn't really paying attention but all of the sudden; we were cast away from the 'white nothing' and put into big desert. I shivered slightly. It was pretty horrible. Lightning flashed overhead and I couldn't help but wonder why everything looked so…dull.

" Welcome to the desert of Disney Land" 

As if on cue, lightning flashed and I spun around, looking for any sign of life. Morphius…wriggled around in his seat for a minute before continuing.

" We only have bits and pieces of information but what we do know is that in the late 21st century, all of mankind rejoiced in celebration and…um…and…"

He took out the paper and read it over. Once satisfied, he slipped it into his jacket and cleared his throat. " We marveled at our own brilliance as we gave birth to A.I"

" A.I…after incorporate-man-eating-spiders ?" 

" Yes, a singular celled – NO! Not after incorporate-man-eating-spiders you dumbass! Its artificial intelligence!"

" Oh…well I thought we were playing Simon says again ok! So don't blame me!"

" Simon says is when you copy the other person only if they say – "

" – Yeah I know! You already told me!!"

" The you should have known!!"

" Okay!!"

We sat in silence for a minute. He was fuming and I was angry. Simple enough. I'm pretty sure you're on my side anyway. He crossed his arms and continued his speech. 

" This single conscious spawned an entire race of machines. We don't know who struck first…them or us. But we do know, it was us who invented the new Dove chocolate, Desire"

I smiled. " Yeah I had one of those, they're pretty good"

" Yeah…anyway…at that time it was believed that they could only run on solar power. How were they to survive without an energy source as abundant as the sun?…so we spray painted the sky black. It was believed that we could not survive without the machines…yet fate it seems, is not without a sense of irony…Squall….Squall?"

He walked over to me.

" Squall! Wake up!" He kicked me in the side. I yawned grumpily and sat up. " What?"

" This is kind of important you know?"

" Yeah yeah alright, continue"

He sat back down and cleared his throat. " As I was saying. The human body produces more energy that a …a…something volt battery and its all body heat. Combined with a form of fusion…the machines had found all the heat they would ever need"

" You know Zell…that's the longest dialogue that you've said, that actually made sense to me"

" Thanks. There are fields…endless fields, where humans are no longer born, they are grown. For the longest time I refused to believe it. But then I saw them for my own eyes. The machines held this nice little tour day so we could walk around and have a look. I watched them liquefy the dead to feed to the living and then I came to conclusion that it was obviously all true"

I had this really, really big urge to fall asleep again…

He turned the TV off. Oh and yeah, we were back in the white nothing again. He placed the remote on the TV and turned to me. 

" What is the matrix…it is control. The matrix is a computer generated world, created to keep us in control in order to turn a human being into this…"

He held out a kit-kat. I began to walk away from him. My memories came back to me. The day I choked on a kit-kat. I almost died. 

" No…no…I wont believe it…I wont!" 

" I didn't say it would be easy Squall…I just said it would be the truth"

" Did not"

" Did so"

" Did not"

"Did so"

" Did not!

" Did so!"

" Ok ok whatever! Just get me out of here ok"

" Alright…"

~

**_muha!_**

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**_Please review!_**


	8. Video Clips Kick Ass!

**_Damn The Red Pill_**

**__**

_Chapter 7: _

"I can't go back can I?"

"No…but if you could, would you want to?" Zell asked. "I mean, at least here you get free food"

"Good point. And I hear Xu is planning the Garden Festival…"

"And her idea of fun is…"

"Dull" We both said in unison. I sat up from the bed and looked over at him. He turned to face me, his face full of thought and worry. He leant in towards me. 

"I feel I owe you an apology. We have a rule here. Never let a total dumbass into the Matrix and free their mind, its dangerous and the mind has trouble letting go, I've seen it before when we let Seifer in and I'm sorry. I did it because…I just had to see the look on your face when you saw all that crap…I mean come on, it was priceless!"

"I have an urge to kill you right now"

"I have something important to tell you so listen up. When the Matrix was first built there was a man born inside it who had the ability to change it to how he saw fit…lucky bastard…and it was he who freed the first humans and…Squall man, wake up!"

"Wha?! Oh yeah, go on"

"Some of us have spent so long looking for him, even weeks and whole days, just to find him. I brought you here to tell you this because I believe that search is over…"

It dawned on me. The entire reason he brought me here. The reason why I needed to be shown everything and made to believe the Matrix. Not that I actually did believe such a load of…but.

"Hey cool you found him! Can I meet him? Where is he?"

"No Squall…you don't get it he…"

"…Aw come on man, let me see him!"

"Ugh, listen don't worry about it, just get ready"

"For what?"

"You're training" He used the scary voice again.

"My urge to kill you just increased Zell"

~

Have you ever seen a group of trained professionals…or should I say, dumbasses, make themselves look so pathetic in such a serious situation?! I thought that being brought from my comfortable dorm room into an enormous ship by my fellow comrades was mildly important and serious. I needed training to further my chances of survival and the only thing they had in mind was…

Video clips.

I sat down in front the wide screen T.V next to Nida. He winked and put a DVD into the player. The menu appeared. "Ahem" He said. "Here we use video clips from a few chosen singers and bands to get us in touch with the latest styles of fighting. Okay. You can choose out of these people. Justin Timberlake. Brittney Spears. Michael Jackson. R.E.M or the Backstreet Boys. Later on we can look at some Eminem videos to get you in touch with some punches. He's good at that. So which one?"

"…"

"Oki doki! I think Michael Jackson first, he has all the agility. I'll choose the song…now watch him when the music starts…he gets all 'Kicky' and stuff"

"Can I ask what we're doing?" I groaned. He slapped a hand to his head and giggled. Yes, he _giggled. _

"I'm teaching you to fight silly! By watching these experts you can take on Morphius and get your ass kicked"

"But I'm a SeeD I _know _how to fight. And I can take Zell anytime!" 

"No you can't silly billy. Now just watch, see! There he goes! Just as he threw his head back for the start of the chorus his feet kick up to his waist height. Watch his reflexes…see?"

"Someone kill me…this is stupid. But…how did he do that? One foot was on the ground and the other was…wow…that is so wrong but at the same time fascinating. Maybe this is good idea" 

We played through all the video clips, Timberlake for the spinning and head banging, R.E.M for high kicks and Backstreet boys for the Japanese style wrestling. They _are _gay so we got to see plenty of those. We skipped Spears because I didn't want to be in pain and watched Michael Jackson over again. The way he managed to twist his body in eight ways was way out of my head. Eminem turned out to be boring because his punches were all the same but we managed to learn a new one where you actually have to push your two middle fingers into your palm, hold you're hand out and poke your opponent in the eyes…

Morphius waltzed into the area and leaned down beside us. 

"So how goes it?"

"Well, so far we've seen a lot of new moves and…check this, I downloaded the Janet Jackson Super Bowl video clip!"

"What move did you get from that?"

"None…it's just funny as hell!" He slapped me on the back and knocked knuckles with Morphius. 

"So Squall" He asked me, "What moves do you have?"

"I know Sissy-Girly-Slapping-Punches…"

"Show me" 

A/N: Short chapter I know, but I can't find my Matrix DVD…for those of you that like those bands, I apologize. No offense intended. 


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